SINGAPORE: Caught between the demands of work and motherhood, a 35-year-old mother in Singapore shared that she has been thinking about quitting her full-time job to spend more time with her twins.

In a post published on the r/singaporejobs forum, the mother explained that she has been feeling increasingly exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed by the demands of her current job. Because of this, she has been thinking about accepting a part-time role that would only require her to work three days a week, even though it would mean taking a massive 70% pay cut.

“I would have more time for myself and my kids [if I choose this],” she said.

At the same time, she revealed that another company had also offered her a different opportunity with a 10% salary increase. However, she said that accepting the higher-paying role would likely mean spending even less time with her kids and having little room left for herself outside of work.

Feeling torn between financial stability and family life, the mother turned to other parents online for advice.

“To chiong or to take a step back? Keen to hear from fellow parents on your thoughts and what would you do in my shoes,” she wrote.

“Negotiate a 40% pay cut”

Many commenters encouraged the mother to choose the part-time arrangement, saying that spending more time with her children and protecting her mental well-being were more important than earning a bigger paycheck.

One individual said, “I think parents spending more time with their kids is very important; having less stress can also be better for your own mental health and for your kid.”

Another wrote, “Assuming these roles are in the same field and were offered to you, go for the part-time role—but negotiate a 40% pay cut. 70% is way too high. Prove your worth and value. Mental health > Wealth.”

A third user added, “When you are on your deathbed, do you think you will say, ‘I wished I took that higher-paying job’ or, ‘I wished I spent more time with my children?’”

However, not everyone felt that taking such a massive pay cut immediately was the best move. A few commenters pointed out that losing 70% of her income could place unnecessary financial stress on the family, especially with children to raise. They suggested that she continue exploring other opportunities that might offer better work-life balance without such a steep sacrifice.

One wrote, “Try the new full-time role first and see if it better matches your work-life balance. If cannot, then take the part-time job. Don’t worry too much first; take it a step at a time.”

In other news, one Singaporean woman says she is now questioning whether it might be time to end her relationship after her boyfriend refused to promise her a ring within the next four to five years.

Sharing her situation on the r/sgdatingscene forum, she said that when she first got together with her boyfriend three years ago, they were very much “in sync.”

Read more: Singapore woman considers breaking up after BF refuses to propose within five years

This article (‘Career or family?’: 35 y/o mum considers quitting full-time job and taking 70% pay cut to care for twins) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.

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SINGAPORE: People rarely quit on impulse. Most just tough it out, deal with the stress, and tell themselves it’ll get better… until something finally pushes them over the edge.

In a Reddit thread, Singaporeans opened up about the exact moment they realised they were done for good.

The discussion began after one user asked, “What was the ‘final straw’ that made you quit your job without a backup plan?”

Small salary bump

One former employee shared that a minimal salary increase was the final trigger that pushed them to resign.

“When I got a S$4 increment back in 2003 as an associate engineer, another engineer got only S$12. I quit immediately the next day.”

Insensitive boss

Another person shared a frightening experience involving their boss, who ignored a serious health condition.

“My boss pressured me to eat seafood, which I am deathly allergic to, and then proceeded to call me weak and a picky eater. This was the final straw after daily berating from him.”

Unfair pay

One individual said they realised they were being underpaid compared to a colleague doing the same role.

“When my colleague and I were performing the same role, she was earning S$4,000 (8+ years with a diploma), while I was paid S$3,600 (5 1/2 years with the company when I quit and pursuing a part-time master’s degree in Big 3).”

They added that the disparity became harder to accept when workloads were not evenly shared.

“Day to day, she contributed very little and was even allowed to work from home for three months due to family issues. I understand having empathy, but it became too much. I also have family issues. Meanwhile, I was expected to be physically present in the office.”

Severe burnout 

For another worker, the turning point came from recognising their own exhaustion.

“I was frustrated for a few months already due to burnout. Then, all in one day:  Watching YouTube videos about ‘symptoms of burnout’ in the office. Realising I was experiencing every single one of them. Taking three hours to complete one task that used to take half an hour. And then hearing your director niam you the entire afternoon.”

That combination pushed them past their breaking point. By that night, they had written their resignation letter and sent it.

Denied time off 

One employee said they were refused even half a day of remote work to care for a sick family member.

“I was denied HALF a day of work-from-home (WFH) to take care of my sick grandma. My boss, who rejected it, works remotely, and her boss WFH a few times a month for various reasons, like a repairman coming to fix the fridge, expecting a delivery so she must be home to receive it, etc.”

Difficult management style 

Another person described working under a manager who made their daily life unbearable.

“My last audit manager was literally driving me out of my mind. He [would] yell at me if I was late just by a few hours…he kept complaining about my work, finding fault with it constantly. Review points only got longer, and I was being scolded on age-old problems. He had me beg him for tips on how to clear his review points. He claimed I couldn’t be trusted with anything, my attitude was poor, etc.”

Over time, the constant criticism began to affect their mental health. “It got so bad that my family found me in the toilet, shouting and swearing at my own reflection. That was when I was forced to quit.”

Biased evaluation 

One worker said they realised their boss was not evaluating ideas fairly.

“When my boss disagreed with my plan, I asked my subordinate to present [the same idea] using different wording. [Suddenly], the boss praised it.”

Small rewards

Another employee said years of effort went unrecognised despite delivering major results.

“My boss is a micromanager who, on one hand, [talks about] ‘creative freedom’ but then the only opinion he listens to is his own.”

“He will say one thing but mean another, and for years I’ve been bringing in projects, and one year I brought in the biggest project in terms of revenue and singlehandedly won us the account. All I got was a 1.5x 13-month bonus. Meanwhile, no promotion or increment for 4 years.”

Read also: Singapore mum of three says she paid for the family for 20 years while husband spent on pets

This article (Singaporeans share the ‘final straw’ that made them quit their job without a backup plan) first appeared on The Independent Singapore News.